We live in a society that glorifies money and success, and yet so many women are reluctant to talk about their finances and have a lot of guilt and resistance around creating wealth.
Many of us remember the phrase, “Show me the money!” from Jerry McGuire.
So many women want wealth, prosperity and abundance, but at the same time feel ashamed for having that desire.
There are also those who resist anything to do with finances and don’t want to deal with it whatsoever.
Money is a topic that brings up a lot of emotions, opinions, limiting beliefs and judgments. Like sex, it’s often “taboo.”
Over the years, I’ve coached hundreds of intelligent, ambitious, and dedicated women in the area of money management, and I’ve noticed that a lot of them would rather not deal with money at all.
Many of these bright, hard-working, fierce women don’t open up their statements, balance their checkbook, track their expenses or review their bills to make sure they’re accurate.
The less they have to deal with their finances, the better.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve also coached plenty of women who are savvy money managers and brilliant with their finances.
For those who struggle, usually such neglect stems from shame, fear, anxiety, and old childhood wounds.
These women aren’t bad or stupid or intentionally irresponsible.
They simply haven’t learned how to deal with their resistance and the underlying issues preventing them from moving forward in a way that serves them.
We all have shame around money to some degree.
It just impacts some women more than others.
Most of us have had highs-and-lows in the area of money, times when we’ve felt like a fraud, stressed over our bills, and wondered how we’re ever going to create the life of dreams – let alone afford it!
Personally, I know what it’s like to easily make over 6-figures, and I also know what it’s like to work really hard for $10 an hour.
When I started my coaching business in 2004, money was flowing to me without my having to seek it out.
During that time, I felt happy, successful and safe. I was making a lot of money doing what I loved. Life was great!
Then, without warning, I lost some major clients and a huge platform that generated a large portion of my income.
In no time at all, I went from being on top of the world to living off my savings.
To say it was scary and a huge hit to my self-esteem is an understatement!
I felt deeply ashamed and embarrassed.
When I hit my own rock bottom, I went on a journey to find a new way to succeed.
I started taking every course I could find on money, business, spirituality, feminine empowerment, and sensuality.
Along the way, I discovered the true meaning of being an empowered woman – the woman who knows how to create financial freedom for herself – who knows how to protect and honor her time – who feels connected to her body – to pleasure –and who knows she can be outrageously successful and beautifully feminine.
As I started to forgive myself – approach money in a new way – and create powerful internal and external practices, the shame that had been plaguing me slipped away, and happiness, joy and peace emerged.
As as result, every aspect of my life changed – including my bank account.
This kind of transformation is possible for you too!
As part of the Money Dare this week, I invite you to do 2 exercises:
1. Practice & Reflection Questions
Center yourself, take a few deep breaths, and connect with your body. Notice what sensations and feelings are present – where you may feel tension – and what thoughts may be going through your mind.
When you feel centered, answer the questions below:
- What are your strengths when it comes to money?
- What are you proud of in this area?
- What is your money story, and how does it play out in your life and in your business?
- What was a tough money experience that you went through? How did you deal with it? How do you feel about the situation now?
- How would you like to evolve your finances? What’s the next level for you?
- How would generating more money allow you to live your dreams?
- How could you use it to help other people fulfill their heart’s desires?
- What charities and causes could you fund?
- How could you spoil yourself and others?
- Brainstorm all the incredible things you can do with your money!
2. Rewrite Your Money Story
When you’re filled with shame, guilt or embarrassment, it’s hard to up-level your finances and create wealth.
You’ll end up sabotaging our efforts and/or procrastinate on doing the things that will propel you forward.
If your finances aren’t where you’d like them to be, or you’ve had an experience (or two or three) that have left you feeling like a “failure” (like the one I described about myself), it’s time to give yourself some compassion.
I know it’s easier said than done, but you’d never judge a friend or loved one for having made a mistake in the past, and it’s time to start letting yourself off the hook as well. You’ve already suffered enough.
- What did you learn from the experience?
- How did it help you grow?
- What will you do differently in the future?
- How has it made you stronger or softer or more compassionate?
- What “gifts” has it brought you?
If money brings up a lot of emotions, fears and resistance for you, be compassionate with yourself and allow yourself as much time as you need to complete the assignments. There’s no rush.
We’re all works in progress, and each step you take has a cumulative effect.
Acknowledge yourself for having the courage to face your fears and do what it takes to move forward.
Your commitment and dedication will be rewarded!
As you change your association with money, mistakes, success and failure, your life will change on every level.
How are you doing with the Money Dare? Leave a comment below, and let me know how things are unfolding for you!